Bottling 2022, Floating into 2023

 This is where I bottle things up, be it coming from 2022 or 2023.
I prefer not to talk things out and bottle them up however I'm bad at digesting stuff.
So this is where my bottled thoughts get poured out.
Keeping it in a draft still seems bottled up to me so here it goes.


1 Jan 2023, officially more than a year of not stepping out of my house, thankful to my family for providing me all the resources I need and sparing a thought for my mental health. I feel like COVID-19 made the world sick and made my inner immunity stronger. I'm immune to social statuses and changes now. While people are fighting hard for a better life, I'm settling for survival. No marriage, just me after my family tree gets expended and after my parents leave us. I've seen it a lot in the hospitals, patients with no family just nieces or nephews as their primary caregivers. I don't wanna start thinking about retirement or anywhere too far out there. We didn't even see COVID-19 coming and changed so much stuff. I literally experienced so much during this period, from financial literacy to having my mind go through a hell of a ride to begin a lot of self-thought processes. I just want my life to be simpler. Never wanted to be ambitious in the first place, but I'm good at staying contented. Maybe I'm lazy for hustle, maybe I'm done hustling or maybe I never wanted to hustle.  


14 Feb 2023, the second half of today is quite devastating, not that the fact it's Valentine's and I'm stuck in a complicated relationship thingy but my third official work is starting tomorrow, however not officially.
So many changes and I feel like I'm set in a state where I really don't want to think a lot anymore.
Age 30 to many is promotions, family starting, parenthood, housing, and cars, etc.
Age 30 to me, is more of starting to live like how I would like to be but realistically I have to survive? I swear NS recalls are forcing me to reintegrate back into society but I'm done with society. I spent over a year hustling, understanding, and reaching out to humans in view of improving our lives by sharing a vision but seems like things don't work out. I always find the easy way out so dropping everything is my way to escape. The lack of ambition probably kept me single but I don't wanna mix romance and reality together too much. Now back to devastation; as required by new work HR, I got reminded through my physical bank book that I had the same amount of assets today as of 2016. So 7 years passed and I didn't grow financially. I think I achieved stability in a sense of humor.